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LinkedIn is reverse tinder
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Limit gaming to one hour a day
I don’t always google why I am sick
What Apple product I can afford
I don’t always make scrambled eggs
What if 2012 apocalypse had actually happened
I can now s*ck my own dick
If someone with a PHD was elected president
Nobody will ever know
Rich man trapped inside poor man’s body
Now that is a true success
I eat chicken but I am still vegetarian
I am solider in Call of Duty
God is an atheist
This is the greatest Halloween decoration
I can feel the pain
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